Don't You Let Me Go
by mizzshy
Summary: Otabek knows there's something bothering Yuri but getting the answer out of him is not going to be that easy. [Day 20 of Pride Month fic challenge.]


**Twentieth fic for a Pride Month prompt challenge from tumblr. Prompt: confession.**

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The DVD menu is playing on a loop by the time Otabek wakes up. He's lying on his back and stares at it blearily, getting the screen slowly into focus past the slip of golden blond hair on his chest. Yuri's warm weight presses on Otabek's chest and Otabek can see a little flutter of wispy eyelashes that shows him that Yuri is awake. He hugs Yuri, making a gentle contented humming noise.

"Hey," he murmurs. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"S'okay," says Yuri. "Was kind of a terrible ending."

Otabek chuckles. "Fair enough then." He shifts a little and Yuri's head rises and then lowers again. "I'll get up and make dinner soon."

Yuri nods but doesn't say anything.

"You okay Yura?"

Yuri nods again, still silent.

"You sure?"

"Yes," says Yuri, too fast.

"What's wrong?" Otabek asks.

Yuri growls, the sound rolling along Otabek's chest through his t-shirt. "I _said_ I'm fine."

" _Yura_."

Otabek grabs Yuri's shoulders and sits up, staring hard into Yuri's face.

"Hey! What the f–"

"Please tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing!" insists Yuri, but Otabek shakes his head.

"You really think I can't tell when you're lying?" he says. "It's been six months already."

"Already?" Yuri repeats, and his breath catches on the word.

Otabek nods. He realised it in the shower this morning and was just as shocked: it feels like it's barely been six _weeks_ and yet here they are. Otabek put it down to them often being apart. Skype dates are great, and he loves getting messages and stupid memes from Yuri, but nothing compares to the real thing, warm and soft in his arms, curled up into his side when they sleep, bright with laughter when they cook. The knowledge that Yuri has to catch a plane in the morning is something Otabek has been trying to ignore up until now.

"Yura," Otabek says, trying for softness. He runs his hands up and down Yuri's arms, slow and tentative. "Please?"

Yuri pouts a little and Otabek knows he's chewing at the inside of his cheek. "I..." He seems to be trying to choose his words and Otabek says nothing, trying to give him the space to think. "I don't know." Otabek takes Yuri's hands and holds them in his, still saying nothing. He knows the best way to keep luring Yuri out is to keep leaving empty silence for him to fill. Yuri swallows and his voice breaks a little as he says, "I don't... want to go home."

His face is pink and his eyes wet. Otabek reaches silently behind him to the end table to get a tissue for Yuri. He presses it into Yuri's hand, getting a glare in response. Shit.

"Yura," Otabek says, sitting up a little straighter and shuffling Yuri closer to him on his lap. "I don't want you to go either – you know I never do." His hands come to rest on Yuri's waist. "Is there something else?"

Yuri sniffs, fixing Otabek with a glare. "If I tell you you're not allowed to laugh at me."

Otabek blinks but shakes his head. "Of course I won't."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes."

"Do you swear?"

" _Yes_ , Yura, _please_! What can you be so scared to say?" There's plenty he could be scared to say. Otabek doesn't get the sense that this is a break up and he feels like anything else he can think of would have come up before now. "You know you can tell me anything."

Yuri gulps again, his breath thick. "I just... It's so stupid but it's so huge and I don't know what I'm supposed to say..." He pauses, pouting. "I don't even know how you feel about it, about me, like... if you feel the same way or whatever, but I... er..." He takes a deep breath. "I think I love you."

Otabek's eyebrows dart upwards and his eyes grow wide, a grin coming quickly to his face. "Yeah?"

"Don't make me say it again," warns Yuri, but then Otabek pulls him into a hug, holding him tightly around the middle.

"I love you too," whispers Otabek, lips brushing Yuri's ear and making Yuri shudder lightly. "I have done for a while."

Suddenly, Yuri pulls back, both hands pushing on Otabek's chest to put distance between them. "Wait, you knew this and you didn't tell me?! Why didn't you say sooner? Now I look like an idiot!"

Otabek laughs and leans in, one hand cupping Yuri's chin to tilt it into a kiss. When they come apart again, noses brushing, Yuri's laughing too.

Saying goodbye the next day is no easier. Otabek still feels like a little bit of him is getting on the plane to fly back to Russia, but his heart feels fuller than before, like there's more of it to give, and he hopes the next few weeks go by quickly.


End file.
